Let’s Talk About it
Have you heard the saying: Forgive, don’t forget, or Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.” How does someone forgive but not forget? I tried to figure it out on my own, and let me tell you… I just put it in a box and set it aside in the back of my mind. Not only that, but I believe we are busy building walls that are supposed to protect us when, in reality, we are just closing ourselves off to God’s everlasting love and mercy.
God wants to give us the gift of forgiveness because He loves us too much for us to walk this life with a heavy burden and chains holding us. The bible tells us that we are no longer under the law of sin (trauma, hurt, disappointments, and mistakes) because we have been made in right standing (righteous) through Christ Jesus (Romans 6). The best way to understand God’s example of forgiveness is to recognize that it is a requirement through Jesus, as stated in Matthew 6:12, 14-15.
Some might know Matthew 6:9-13 NKJV as the Lord’s Prayer:
Our Father in heaven,
Hallowed be Your name.
10Your kingdom comes.
Your will be done
On earth as it is in heaven.
11Give us this day our daily bread.
12And forgive us our debts,
As we forgive our debtors.
13And do not lead us into temptation,
But deliver us from the evil one.
For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.
We are called to forgive others so that we can be forgiven, and shown in verse 12, then later explained in verses 14-15
14 “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. 15But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.
Forgiveness brings you close to others and God, while un-forgiveness brings isolation. Isolation is the stomping ground for the enemy to corner you and let you know all the ways you have messed up, and that God doesn’t love you. The enemy is here to steal, kill, and destroy, which is your joy, your motivation, your identity.
You are healing more and more when you decide to forgive and let God have justice because He is the fairest judge we will ever face. God desires to walk with us through the tough, smooth, rocky, and unstable times. He is firm in his character and love for us, and he is surely unshakable in all circumstances. He is not fazed by our anger, frustration, hate, and confusion. Furthermore, he prefers for us to come running whenever faced with any of these emotions, like Hagar from today’s reading.
Hagar is chosen, seen, and destined for great nations to come from her bloodline. The same goes for you. We are either blessed because of our bloodline, or we are the ones to bless our bloodline. Either way, we are not designed to hold all the weight of this world but to stand together with Christ, meeting him in prayer, submission, and faith.
I will say forgiveness doesn’t come easy, but it does give ease to your heart and shoulder. Forgiveness can take on many forms that might look like boundaries, distance, and heavy conversations; not all situations are the same. The key is that God is at the center of it all to comfort, guide, and mend the broken pieces.
More Resources: Genesis 15-16 | Hagar | Bible Study
Bible Talk
In today’s reading, we get a glimpse of how Hagar got into this situation. It will cover the story of Hagar, who is an Egyptian servant woman. Her testimony is covered in hurt, abuse, and God’s compassion towards her. I would push to say that Abram’s blessing was the start of Hagar’s life of suffering and blessing for her bloodline. A reminder that your yes (obedience) is someone else’s freedom, but also your wait/ delay (disobedience) is the key to someone’s chains. The majority of us can understand and sympathize with her.
Reference Reading: Genesis 15-16
Chapter 15:
After this rescue mission, God spoke to Abram about protecting him and blessing him, but Abram was worried about his bloodline/descendants. God then said to Abram, You will be a father of many descendants and nations. God has told him he will have more than the number of the stars in the sky (that’s a lot of kids, and Abram was an OLD man). God reminded Abram about protecting and giving him the land he was staying in. Still, Abram was dealing with some unbelief and asked God, “How will I know that these things will come to pass?” God required a sacrifice. Once Abram completed the sacrifice, Abram went into a deep trance/vision state. God gave a full prophecy of what would happen later with the Israelites (you know, Moses’s story).
Chapter 16:
Abram and Sarai were so desperate to have a descendant. Sarai came up with a plan to get her Egyptian servant Hagar pregnant, and Abram followed her lead. With a quickness, Hagar got pregnant and started treating Sarai with contempt (superior to, less than). Sarai was not happy with this and went to Abram to complain about Hagar. Abram was in distress and told Sarai, “This is your servant under your hand, and do as you please with her.” Sarai treated Hagar harshly and humiliated her, and Hagar ran away. While on the run, Hagar was met by the Angel of the Lord. The angel said to Hagar, “Hagar, Sarai’s servant, where have you come from, and where are you going?”. Hagar responded by saying, “I’m running away from my mistress, Sarai.” The angel of the Lord spoke to her, “Return to your mistress and submit to her authority, and I will give you more descendants than you can count.”
The angel told Hagar that her son’s name would be Ishmael (which means ‘God hears’), for the Lord has heard your cry of distress. The angel continued to prophesy over Hagar about her son, Ishmael, “who will be a wild man, as untamed as a wild donkey! He will raise his fist against him. Yes, he will live in open hostility against all his relatives.” Hagar used another name to refer to the Lord, who had spoken to her. She said, “You are the God who sees me,” and also, “ Have I truly seen the One who sees me?” Hagar, then named the Well (Beer-lahai-roi), means well of the Living One who sees me. Hagar returned to Abram and Sarai, to remain faithful to God, and gave birth to Ishmael. Abram was eighty-six years old when Ishmael was born.
Here, take this with you:
- Forgiveness brings you close to others and God, while un-forgiveness brings isolation.
- God has freed you from those offenses and is calling you to give you new life in him, full of love and compassion.
- The key is that God is at the center of it all to comfort, guide, and mend the broken pieces.
- We are either blessed because of our bloodline, or we are the ones to bless our bloodline
Notable parallels
- Jesus was abused, neglected, mocked and cast out from his own hometown but STILL forgave on the cross. He was thinking of you, your families and future generations would be blessed with the gift of salvation through him.
- Hagar like you and I went through trauma and went to run and hated her situation, but God met her at her weeping place. He will do the same for you, you have to cry out to him.
Prayer
Meditation Scripture: Psalms 141
Lord of everything big and small, hear me cry out in desperation for your strength to forgive those who hurt me intentionally and unintentionally. I need help to soften my heart from all the unforgiveness. I empty my heart at your feet to be set free from these shackles.
I pray this in the almighty name of Jesus Christ, Amen!
Journal
After you finish journaling, be sure to read the prayer above.
- Who came to mind while reading today’s blog?
- What is the offense that is sticking out to you?
- How has this shaped how you view people after that experience?
- When you think of freedom from this, what does that look like to you? Does it align to how God want relationships to look?
Forgiveness can take on many forms that might look like boundaries, distance, and heavy conversations; not all situations are the same. The key is that God is at the center of it.
